Beyond the Empty Nest

How to broaden your field of view and imagine what is possible after the children leave home.

If you're entering the empty-nesting phase of life and have one eye on your young adult’s transition, you might have barely begun thinking about what comes next for you. This stage, which starts after the youngest child leaves home, has been called “empty nesting” for over a century (Fisher, 2010). The image of the empty nest highlights what is lost, but you can expand your perspective to include a bright future for yourself on the horizon.

This phase of life deserves a fresh perspective! Empty nesting is not solely about emptiness or losing what once was. Your children growing up and moving out can evoke many emotions. Some may include sadness over how quickly their childhoods passed or uncertainty as they venture into new territory. However, it can also bring relief from parenting duties, along with curiosity and excitement about new opportunities. This stage of life can be joyful and filled with new possibilities if you acknowledge the loss while focusing on the positive. Let’s begin with an example.

Beverly was very proud of her daughter for landing a full-time job after college and beginning to support herself. Beverly helped her find an apartment and settle in. After her daughter moved the last of her belongings into the new place, Beverly looked around her daughter’s old room at their family home. The bed was made, and a few items were scattered around—an old T-shirt, some unfinished arts and crafts projects, and a few novels. The room was filled with memories of bedtime stories, preparing for sports and dances, and even some tough conversations. Beverly felt both grateful for the time she shared with her growing daughter and sad that it was time for her to move out. She looked at the room one last time, sighed, and closed the door. “So, this is empty nesting. What should I do now?” she wondered.

While closing her daughter’s bedroom door for the first time, Beverly represents the grief parents experience when their children leave home. It is a loss not just of childhood but also of their role as parents. However, there are ways to avoid feeling stuck or held back by this loss. You can expand your perspective on this life transition by also feeling relief from the strain of parenting responsibilities. This broader view can be associated with increased social interactions, less loneliness, and a stronger sense of well-being (Hartano et al. 2024). When you widen your outlook to include joy, relationships, and your well-being, you can see a whole life beyond that empty nest.

Make joy happen.

To find joy, you need to put yourself in situations you might enjoy. Let’s go back to Beverly to see how she shifted from a close-up view of her daughter’s empty bedroom to a panoramic view of her life, and how this change brought about some joyful moments.

Although she missed her children, Beverly was relieved to have less responsibility. At first, she felt unsure about what to do with her extra time. She thought about things she used to do before having children and remembered how much she enjoyed playing basketball as a kid. It had been decades since she played, and she did not feel ready to play again. Then she got creative and reached out to some of her high school teammates. They had a great time connecting on a video chat and reminiscing about their old team. Eventually, they got together to attend a college women’s basketball game, followed by dinner, where they shared stories and many laughs.

With a broader perspective, Beverly reflected on her life before having children. When their children leave home, parents sometimes forget what they once enjoyed or struggle to figure out where to start. Think about all the things that brought you happiness, like creative pursuits, sports, or spiritual practices. Alternatively, you might be passionate about your job and eager to advance your career. Now is a great time to dive into one or more of these activities.

Alternatively, this can be a great time to try something new. You might already have some ideas about things you would like to explore. Returning to something you enjoyed earlier or starting something fresh might feel overwhelming at first. Start small and be creative. Once you begin, you will likely find it is easier than you expected.

Nurture your relationships.

Research shows that relationships promote personal growth during difficult times (Jiang, 2023). However, we must nurture our relationships for this to happen. Let us see how Beverly cared for relationships.

Having been deeply involved in her children’s activities through coaching and volunteering, Beverly realized that she had become somewhat disconnected from her other friends, family members, and communities. Over the years, she attended fewer book club meetings, went to religious services only on holidays, and often skipped family gatherings. She resolved to reconnect by going back to book club meetings and religious services, and she decided to host a dinner at her house for her siblings. Additionally, she reached out to a local empty-nesting support group, where she made a few new friends and quickly learned that she was not alone in this experience.

Our social connections can offer support in many ways, such as practical help, emotional comfort, and companionship. When Beverly evaluated her relationships, she realized she had a variety of connections that needed attention. She also understood she wanted to meet people experiencing a similar change. You can do the same for yourself. Make a list of people and communities who have supported you, then consider which ones you want to nurture. Find simple ways to connect with people, either face-to-face or through technology. The connections can be brief and straightforward.

If you are looking for support from people in a similar life stage, you can find them on social media platforms like Meetup and Facebook groups, which may offer in-person meetings in your area or virtual gatherings online. You may find these connections reassuring.

Remember that community experts can offer specific support if you're feeling stuck. For example, your primary care doctor can evaluate your health and assist you in reaching your wellness goals. Dr. Lauren Rosen, a physician at LSR Wellness in Haverford, PA, shared how she helps patients in this stage of life. She explained, “A primary care doctor is most effective when evaluating a patient's symptoms in the context of his or her current life events. It's crucial to have an in-depth conversation to explore symptoms and develop an action plan that addresses this patient's concerns and situation.” Your primary care doctor can also refer you to a therapist who can help you understand your thoughts and feelings and offer advice on managing stress related to role changes. You can also find a therapist by searching on Google.com or PsychologyToday.com.

Care for your well-being.

Sometimes, the emotional effects of life changes show up in our bodies before we realize they are affecting us. Dr. Rosen explained, “Someone who has just become an empty nester may come to the office with symptoms such as a racing heart, fatigue, or decreased appetite. After more conversation, a doctor understands that these could be signs of depression or anxiety.”Let’s see how Beverly experienced this.

Finding it hard to adjust to not cooking for a whole family, Beverly sometimes ate cereal for dinner. On these nights, she had low energy, skipped the gym, and did not sleep well. Then she was tired the next day. Eventually, she went to her doctor to see if something was wrong. Her medical tests were all normal, so she and her doctor discussed how to get back to caring for her health and wellness.

During this time of transition, pay attention to how you care for your well-being. Focus on eating a balanced diet, exercising regularly, staying hydrated, and getting enough sleep. You might have set aside these needs while caring for your children, and now it is time to re-commit to caring for yourself. The change in routine may require creating a new schedule. Mealtime may feel lonely. Now is a good time to refocus on your healthy habits by planning, following them as much as possible, and revising them when necessary. It may not seem easy at first, but you will quickly feel better.

This is a good time to recognize unhealthy habits, too. Drinking alcohol, watching TV, and scrolling social media are all okay in moderation. However, it's easy to spend more time than intended on any of these, especially when feeling anxious, lonely, or sad. You deserve to feel good, so try to keep these in check.

Capture a new photo.

With your children having flown the nest, you now have the freedom to explore your options and decide where to go next. You can experiment with different camera angles to find what works best. Through joyful activities, strong relationships, and a focus on your well-being, you are in a great position to shape your vision of what's next. Step back from your empty nest and enjoy the broad view. What do you see? What is in your photo of life after the empty nest?

References:

Fisher, D. C. (2010). Mothers and children (1914). Kessinger Publishing.

Hartanto, A., Sim, L., Lee, D., Majeed, N. M., & Yong, J. C. (2024). Cultural contexts differentially shape parents’ loneliness and well-being during the empty nest period. Communications Psychology, 2(1), 105. https://doi.org/10.1038/s44271-024-00156-8

Jiang, T., Canevello, A., & Crocker, J. (2023). How relationships foster growth: Compassionate goals predict growth-seeking through perceived available support independent of relationship security. Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin, 49(6), 852–870. https://doi.org/10.1177/01461672221080949

This blog post is dedicated to the parents who participated in the Empty Nesting discussion at LSR Wellness in August 2025.